eh it's me just venting

Hellloooo everyone ! I'm here back with a more personal and wordy post. I just needed somewhere to vent and I thought oh, why not my blog? Haha. 

These past few months have been rough! I just self-loathe and think I am the worst human being in the world but I know it's not true but when you're in that state of mind you hate yourself a lot. I've been having a lot of issues lately with everything... 

I'm the type of person that stressed every little thing because my brain is just used to having to freak out about things because of how fucked up I was raised. My priorities can get all messed up and that causes me to freak out and stress out. If something has any type of importance connected to it in my brain I can easily freak out or stress out about it right away. I'm sure I'm not making sense but anything can make me feel like my world is going to end because of this one little problem. I hate that I'm like this and that's why I wanted to let people know and see if anyone can try to help me. I go to therapy and it's great to be able to talk someone but I still feel like nothing can help how I am. I annoy and make my boyfriend mad at me all the time because I'm like this and I am always blaming myself for every single thing since I have all these issues. It's just really hard and not to be dramatic but I just feel so helpless because I know what the issues are but I still freak out about things :( There are more things I wish I could just write about but I think that's enough of being personal to the internet and having everyone just judge me. I don't know I'm just messed up mentally... I know this is some heavy shit to talk about but I think it's important to know that everyone is fighting their own fight and no one is perfect! Mental illness is important. 

1 comment :

  1. Sam! I'm really happy that you're going to therapy and talking to someone about what's on your mind (I miss going to therapy *sigh*) If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you, girl! Also a good book to look into is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It sounds kind of textbook-y which can be boring, but it's nice to get a sense of why your mind works the way it does w/ mental illnesses and with being raised with traumatic type of circumstances.

    Hope you feel better! <3